and Breathe
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(via notebookdoodles)
I tell myself this everyday.
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reblog with what you wanted to be when you grew up when you were little
A ballerina cowgirl fuck yeah!i wanted to be charlie brown. obviously i had high expectations.
i wanted to be snow white.
I wanted to be a figureskatingballerinalawyer.
So, you know, Barbie.
I really wanted to be astronaut.
a writer/journalist. HAHA! At least I am working on getting back into it, after stagnating for four years.
Yes, I was a fucking weird kid.
a bus driver.
Fashion designer.
A waitress at Waffle House, yeah, I know.
A chef..ha
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where have you been all my life?
we all have those friends.
you know the ones. that group that makes you..you. the ones that came along and filled that empty space you never knew existed till they filled it. they just fit into your life. well, this girl is one of them. she is the photographer friend. the one who gets what none of my other friends do. who gets photography jokes and always knows where i’m coming from. sometimes we’re so similar its creepy, sometimes she is the fresh perspective i need, and sometimes she is just there to fawn over guys with me. i have a knack for taking horrific pictures of her. she has a knack for saying things that make me squirt juice out of my nose from laughing. it a friendship that works.
“it makes me want to punch babies” -joy.
I keep the majority of people in my life at arms length these days. A bad habit I’ve picked up these past four years. I’m not stupid though - I know this is a pretty detrimental way to live one’s life..but I’m working on it.
Amanda is/was one of those people that people that actually made an effort in becoming my friend - and I haven’t met one of those in a long time. And I’m not talking about the kind of people that are just trying to become your “friend” because they want something (a type that I have unfortunately encountered often)
In my mind there are two main ways friendships can occur - the kind that develop over time (where you can hardly remember how you even started talking and the next think know you’re calling each other every other hour to exchange some type of information..whether it be unnecessary but still entertaining gossip, or a true problem you’re having that you need advice with) - and the kind that seem to develop very clearly..step by step..but sure enough you know that you probably wouldn’t be the same without that person.
I’m sure most of us can relate to scenario one. Most ”school” friends happen this way. But scenario two? Those types of relationships are few and far between…the ones that end up working out anyways. Most types of relationships that develop like that tend to be very surface level..but that’s okay too - not everyone you meet and interact with is going to ”change your life”
I’d say with Amanda things started to develop more like scenario two..step by step..one of the huge reasons for this is because she lives over an hour away from Yucaipa…so when we first started to hang out it was obviously a conscious effort. But the strange thing is - Amanda used to live in Yucaipa..heck not only did she live down the street from me but she even went to the same MIDDLE SCHOOL as me and get this - we had a lot of the same friends/acquaintances. How in the WORLD is it that we never met before when we seemed to live such parallel lives? Not to mention the fact that our middle school was what..200 people? Okay..so she was an 8th grader and I was a 7th grader which meant we had different lunches..but still.
To make a long story short she and I reconnected over flickr of all places. I think I sorta ignored one of her messages once or forgot to reply when she mentioned meeting up. I remember thinking “Oh that might be cool..” but at the same time thinking “…meh, probably won’t happen, or she’ll forget or change or her mind.” I hate to sound like that’s the kind of person I am..and I’m not always like that, but I’m not always motivated to put myself in new situations as I’d like to be..and this is something I’m working on.
With all that said, we ended up meeting for donuts when she was in town again and talked photography and what not. The next time she was in town we rode our bikes to one of my favorite locations to shoot on an extremely hot day ..and I’m pretty sure we both got heat exhaustion..so that probably brought us closer together as well.
Amanda is cool and a lot like me. We’re both photographers and she’s a somewhat local photographer I know that I can discuss certain photography related things with and she’ll understand - she gets it. Not to mention everything else she wrote in her original post above. We’re both somewhat socially awkward and its sort of hilarious when we hang out because our awkwardness is equally.. awkward? I told her its like a harmonious awkwardness with her and I. How beautiful is that?
Most of all, I appreciate Amanda because she’s really open and kind, she made en effort to be my friend - why exactly is still a mystery to me haha. But I never got the vibe that she wanted something from me or even expected something other than a simple friendship which little did we know would turn into something so cool.
I guess it sorta just gives me a “hope” if you will, for the fact that there are still some genuine people out there who are worth getting to know. I know as a human being, and especially as a Christ follower I need to work on reaching out more - and its people like Amanda that remind me that it’s worth it.
